How To Dress When It’s 5 Degrees

Well it’s my favorite time of year again when it takes 10 minutes just to dress to go outside. For those of you who live in areas equally cold as Kansas, or (shudder) even colder, you’re nodding your head in agreement. And for those of you who live in warmer climates and think 50 degrees is a cause for panic, pay close attention to the following tutorial.

In a vain attempt to make this look like a science experiment, I’ll weigh myself before and after dressing. So here we are before.

(Note to Self: Paint toenails a.s.a.p.)

First, I have a long sleeve shirt and long john pants on. The pants are those that have the special microfiber, thermal weave, good enough for a trip to the moon type material. Whatever. All I know is that we’re building layers to trap heat, and this is a good place to start.

 So next, put on a good pair of heavy woolen type socks.

  Next, put on a pair of jeans over the long john pants.

 Next you need to put on more shirts. You can wear several knit shirts, or like I’m doing today, a couple of hoodies.

 Next, put on a heavy pair of coveralls. They’re lined, insulated and also protect your clothes from any unwanted poo the cows might fling at you.

 Bear with me, we’re getting close to being done, and hopefully we’ll be dressed before spring arrives. Next, all purpose boots – good for snow, cold, mud, rain, and the ubiquitous cow poo.

 Now, about this point you’re thinking, “Crap, I don’t even look like a girl anymore, this is the most unfeminine outfit ever. Looks like I’ve gained about 50 pounds. They’ll never showcase this outfit in Glamour magazine. I’m a frump.” 

Solution: add some pink.

  Ahhhh…much better.

Finally, put on some thick gloves.

 Now we’re ready for whatever winter throws our way, and we’ll look darn good while doing the farm chores.

 But back to the scale to find out how much this stylin’ outfit weighs.

Some quick math reveals that I’m wearing about 10 pounds. I’ll try to look on the bright side of this and tell myself that carrying the extra weight around will be like a cardio workout.

Now let’s go outside and burn some calories.

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——–>  UP NEXT: We’re off to feed the calves grain and hay.

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