2nd Degree Attempted Birdslaughter

Sunday started out as a very relaxing day. I was doing a little housecleaning, a little cooking, the birds were happily feeding outside our windows, and all was right with the world.

(The little gray birds with white tummies are juncos. They’re my favorites – so spunky and cute.)

In the early afternoon, I was cleaning the floors with our Swiffer Sweeper Vac. (By the way, I think this is just the best invention since penicillin.) I had swept the front room, and stepped outside to clean out the Swiffer filter. Kitty, our housecat, illegally hopped outside behind me. Kitty is not allowed out because she has a bad habit of going straight for the road and trying to get run over. I told her to get back inside, and she turned her butt to me with a “la la la, I can’t hear you” attitude. So I gave up and closed the door thinking she would get cold and want to come back in soon enough (It was 11 degrees that day.) She hates to step into the snow so I didn’t figure she would go far.

I proceeded to sweep the kitchen and bathroom floor, and when I headed back outside to clean the filter again, I saw her sitting up against the door. “Aha,” I thought. “She’s cold now and ready to come in.”  I opened the door and she bolted in – with something stuffed in her mouth!

A BIRD!!!!  She ran through the front room and into the living room with me in hot pursuit yelling, “NO, NO, NO!!!!”  As she headed for the office I yelled out to Harland, “STOP HER, STOP HER!!!”

She ran past him, into the bedroom and under the bed. Harland and I got down on the floor near the bed, he on one side, me on the other. She was closer to me, so I grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and pulled her out. I continued to hold onto her by the scruff, and she finally let go of her prize, a little gray and white junco. I thought it would drop to the floor dead, but instead it flew through the bedroom into the bathroom and began beating itself frantically against the window trying to escape our little House of Horrors.

While I took Kitty and stuffed her upstairs closing the door on her, Harland captured the terrified victim with a t-shirt. I opened the front door, and he gently opened the shirt. The little bird flew away and landed in a nearby bush. I watched for a while and it seemed to be ok. Then I released Kitty, who promptly went back to the bedroom looking for her prize. All she found were feathers. I cleaned them up, some of them were stuck to her face, and chastised Kitty. Later that night we had a heart-to-heart talk.

Me:  Kitty, do you know how wrong it was trying to kill that helpless little junco? You have enough to eat and don’t need to catch game.

Kitty: I’m kinda busy right now, come back later.

Me: Kitty, this is serious, we’re talking 2nd Degree Attempted Birdslaughter. If you’re caught, that’s 15 years in the slammer and a $10,000 fine.

Kitty:  *Silence*

Me: Granted, doing the time would be easy for you – all you do is sleep and eat anyway.

Kitty:   *Silence*

Me: And where are you going to get money to pay the fine? You don’t even have a job.

Kitty: When did we get that ceiling fan? Looks nice.

Me:  *Sigh*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

——-> UP NEXTAu Gratin Potatoes from an 1894 recipe. Old fashioned home cooking comin’ right up.

——–Later This Week: Lip SmackinFried Chicken from a 1921 recipe.

21 comments to 2nd Degree Attempted Birdslaughter

  • Eliza

    Your cat is so cute 🙂

  • Great picture of the cardinal. Don’t C them around here much.

  • It’s just like those kitties, innocent one moment, claws out the next. And why won’t they look you in the eye? Maybe Kitty is Sylvester incarnate.

  • rebecca

    i love kitty. the last photo with your caption is priceless.

  • Very funny story with a happy ending. I love your trying to talk sense into a cat- good luck there!

  • Vivian

    Such a funny story! Poor little junco – boy will he have a story to tell his grandchildren! Escape from the jaws of death! Kitty is so cute. Hard to be angry at her for long. 🙂

  • Just wait until the next time you are preoccupied when you head out the door!! Guess who is going to be gone like a streak!!! Glad you rescued the little one, though. We have that same problem around our house with “somebody else’s” cats occasionally.

  • You have such a cute cat! I’m glad the bird seems okay. Most of the time, you don’t have to worry about the critters being dead right off the bat because indoor cats tend to catch, release and pounce in a vicious cycle ’til they move no more. Disgusting. Fortunately, mine only catch the critters (mostly lizards and salamanders) that wander indoors. And fortunately, we often catch them and release the critters outdoors. It’s rare that we find a dead critter in this house. The scorpion was an exception to the rule…

  • What a good story! Kitty was bringing you the bird to you to show off her hunting skills but you were totally not impressed. She doesn’t seem to be too hurt by that does she?

  • Kitty certainly does look unrepentant. Glad you managed to save your pretty little bird. I confess, my cats look at my bird feeders like I’m setting up the bait for their evening hunting trip.

  • That is hilarious! I laughed all the way through, because I’ve had a very similar event here too. Glad to hear it ended well, great photos.

  • LOL! Good talk!
    Kitty is beautiful.

  • Oh…the innocence written all over that face!

  • Oh my goodness! That was funny! Kitty is a little stinker! I love how she sneaks out behind you. She really had herself a great adventure that day. I’ll bet she thinks to herself “you know, I try to have a little fun, and the humans ruin everything!” I love the photo of the lingering feathers! The conversation with Kitty had me laughing out loud! I love your sense of humor!!

  • Glenda

    I can both see and hear in my mind you running after Kitty yelling, “NO,NO,NO!” Funny!
    Kitty listens about like a man does. (no offense Harland)
    Oh, well, all’s well that ends well. Glad the junco made it all right.

  • Julie, Farmer in California

    Okay…so I’ve noticed coming back to the site you are becoming quite the little comedian..I love it. That is so
    funny. Boy she is quick isnt she, little kitty. I wanted to\
    dye when I seen that beautiful red cardinal in the midst of those birds….how lovely…we dont have those here in California….darn it.

  • Debbie

    Too funny! And sad! And funny! I really laughed reading this! I hate how our pet cats want to go after birds! They do have enough to eat (even if they don’t think so)!

  • Brenda

    They just don’t care!!!

    We had our great white hunter, Sam, bring us a not so lucky bird last night. He didn’t want to hear the ‘lecture’ either. hmm, what’s with this anyway…lol To be honest, just glad it was a bird…

  • Becca

    Life with a cat(s) is delightful, when all is said and done! And i love your posts on Kitty. I am new to your blog and look forward to reading more! My husband nad I share a similar love story. We met through eharmony and married in 2007! We also dated long distance!Take care 🙂

    • Suzanne

      Hi Becca,
      Congrats on finding your better half! When I was younger I never thought about online dating (heck when I was a kid there was no such thing as the internet) but online dating brought me the best that’s ever happened to me, my hubby.

  • Becca

    I have been reading your back log on Kitty and other things. I love your sense of humor and writing style! More stories on Kitty please! I am so glad I found your blog..Have a blessed week! <3
    Becca

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