You know how when mothers see dirt or food on their kid’s face and they lick their finger and wipe off the offending dirt?
Well, cows have streamlined this step and just lick their kid’s faces directly with their huge enormous dinosaur tongues.
“Ugh Junior, I don’t know how you get so dirty”
“Well the other kids were down in the creek – Oww Ma- you’re in my eye – playing in the mud and – “
“How many times have I told you – HOLD STILL– not to play in the mud!?”
“But Ma, everybody else was in there and they asked me to join in and – “
“And I suppose if everybody else jumped off a cliff you would too? Hold still, almost got it!”
“But Ma, we don’t have any cliffs here.”
*Sigh* “Just stop talking Junior, please, just stop talking..”
“Sorry Ma, Love you.”
“Love you too Junior.”