Kitty: “What is this doing here??”
Me: “Oh, you’re going to the vet.”
Kitty: “What’s that? I’m sorry, I must have misunderstood you. I was just there a couple months ago.”
Me: “Well that time was because you were sick with a sinus infection.”
Kitty: “So why do I have to go this time??”
Me: “Because I’m worried about that red blotch between your eyes. It might be the plague.”
Kitty: “Oh really! That’s a tomato stain from where the male human threw a piece of tomato at me.”
Me: “Actually he was giving you a piece of tomato to eat and your head got in the way.”
Kitty: “Whatever. Either way it doesn’t warrant a visit to the vet. So why do I have to go?”
Me: “Because…… all your appendages are gone!”
Me: “Where did your legs and tail go??!!”
Kitty: “They’re underneath me. You know I have to sit on my legs and tail so I don’t get frostbite because you won’t turn up the heat.”
Me: “Oh. Well actually you have to go to the vet for your annual vaccinations. So in you go…”
Kitty: “Let me out!!!”
Me: ” Stop pressing your face there. You’re gonna have a criss-cross pattern on your eye.”
Later at the vet’s office, Kitty yowls in protest as we walk in the door. It’s not going to be a good visit.
Me: “Well, here are.”
Kitty: “Yep. No one’s here. We can go home now.”
Me: “Now now….Dr. John is here. C’mon let’s go into the exam room.”
Dr. John takes Kitty over to the scale to weigh in.
Dr. John: “Oh, c’mon!!”
Me: “KITTY!! Stop hissing and taking swipes at Dr. John! Let him pick you up off the scale and bring you to the exam table right now!!!”
I end up bringing Kitty back to the exam table where Dr. John gets a firm grip and begins his examination.
Kitty: “OW OW OW OW!! He’s hurting me!!!”
Me: “He’s just checking your spine.”
Kitty: “OW OW OW!! Tell him to stop!”
Kitty: “MEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! I HATE HIM!! HATE!!!
Me: “All done now. We can go home.”
Kitty: “Hate him!!! Gonna hurt him!!! He’ll be sorry!!”
Me: “No you’re not. Let’s go home.”
Back at home I let Kitty out of the carrier and give her a treat for being such a good girl, not.
But I give her a treat anyway.
A couple hours later…….
Kitty: “I’m tired and I don’t feel good.”
Me: “I know dear. It’s probably the shot. You’ll feel better soon.”
Kitty avoids food for the rest of the day. She won’t even drink her evening milk. Her throat is sore and her appetite is gone. The only thing she’ll eat is whipped cream.
The next morning she’s a little better.
Kitty: “I’m not better. I’m going to die.”
Me: “No you’re not. You’re eating food today and you’re perkier than yesterday.”
Kitty: “Anyway, I’m going to spend today hiding under here where it’s safe.”
Me: ” Ok.”
Monday morning when the alarm goes off, Kitty bounds into the room and hops upon the bed where she sits on Harland’s chest and tells him how much she loves and adores him. Lots of purring and snuggling. She ignores me.
I’m persona non grata.